


Mind

by mynamedoesntmatter



Series: Three Wrongs Make a Right [4]
Category: Pokemon GO
Genre: Blanche goes by they/them, Depression, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Nonbinary Blanche, Warning for:, and potentially anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-16
Updated: 2016-11-16
Packaged: 2018-08-31 07:44:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8570155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mynamedoesntmatter/pseuds/mynamedoesntmatter
Summary: “Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Blanche reminded her, “My head is a scary place.”A short exploration of Blanche's mind.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So it's important to note that this fic was a fic that I wrote to vent some of my emotions months ago and I debated on and off about whether or not I should post it because I didn't want to be accused of writing something incorrectly. After thinking about it for awhile though I figured I'd just post it. So here it is if you want it.
> 
> This is part of a series of one shots (they're all written at different points in time in this ot3 relationship), it can stand alone or you can go back and read the whole thing.
> 
> Sorry this one's a bit shorter than the others
> 
> Edit: I can't believe I forgot to add a summery to this, thanks to those who clicked this without even a shred of knowing what you were clicking on lol

Blanche stared at their laptop screen, but they really weren’t seeing anything. Numbers and data blurred together as Blanche’s thoughts wandered progressively darker. They gave focusing one more attempt before sighing and slumping into the couch.

“What’s up?” Candela asked sitting just a foot away.

“Nothing,” Blanche muttered crossing their arms as they squinted at their screen. Candela leaned over to gently poke them in the cheek.

“What’s going on in there, Blanchey?” Candela asked tapping a finger to their temple.

“The usual,” Blanche sighed, placing their laptop on the side table and melting into the couch.

“Do you… want to talk about it?” Candela asked scooting right up next to them. Blanche shook their head, then paused and gave a minuscule nod before leaning on her shoulder.

“It’s not really pleasant stuff,” Blanche warned.

“I didn’t really expect it to be,” Candela said quietly, wrapping her hands around one of theirs, “but you can talk to me about anything,” they were both silent for a bit before,

“I don’t really know what to say,” Blanche admitted, “I’ve never properly talked about any of it before.”

“I understand… Would you like me to ask you things?” Candela suggested hesitantly.

“Sure,” Blanche answered in a small tired voice, Candela thought for a moment.

“How… how do you feel?” Candela turned their head to see how her question was received.

“Hmm,” Blanche, ever the researcher, pondered it for a few seconds, “I feel a lot of different things… Physically though…” Blanche struggled for words before sighing and gently placing a hand on Candela’s chest, “Right here, it feels warm, but a bad warm. Sort of how I imagine suffocating would be like. Imagine just a really uncomfortable warm pressure,” Blanche moved their hand away, “My arms feel a bit heavy, and my mind, well besides being rather horrifying, is pretty fuzzy,” Candela leaned her head on top of theirs.

“I never realized it felt like that, like physical and stuff, I figured it was all in the head,” Candela admitted.

“Well that’s the trouble isn’t it?” Blanche spoke just above a whisper, “When your head is attacking itself, it tends to affect the function of the things it controls.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Candela let out a soft breath, “Does it do anything else?”

“It makes me tired,” Blanche seemed to slump at the admission, “no perhaps not ‘tired’, more like drained,” they gave a little shrug, “why else is it stereotypically depicted by one who never does anything but lie in bed. I’m much too busy for that though. I’m fortunate enough to be able to get up in the morning.”

“I’m sorry,” Candela told them, unsure of what else to say.

“You don’t need to apologize for anything,” Blanche murmured, “Next question?”

“Well, can you- would you tell me what kinds of things you think about?” Candela prompted. She felt Blanche’s tense up even if it was just a little she immediately backed up, “You definitely don’t have to though. Please don’t if you don’t want to.”

“It’s not that I mind,” Blanche looked down towards their intertwined hands, “I just know you’re not going to like it.”

“I won’t really like it,” Candela agreed, rubbing her thumb in little circles on Blanche’s hand, “It’s just, I want to know. Maybe I can help you, or at least understand?” She shrugged, “I just don’t want you to go through this stuff alone. Not anymore, now you’ve got me and you’ve got Spark,” Blanche couldn’t stop a small smile from flashing on their face.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Blanche reminded her, “My head is a scary place.”

“Consider me warned then,” Candela watched Blanche carefully out of the corner of her eye.

“Well the first thought that comes to mind is how much I despise myself,” Blanche admitted and Candela had to focus on keeping her mouth shut because as much as she wanted to correct Blanche on how important they were, she knew that this was Blanche’s turn to speak so she’d just hold her tongue. Blanche glanced over at her and let out an amused breath at her expression before continuing, “It’s not that simple though, it’s usually broken down into chunks. Things like, all of the things I’ve done wrong. Nitpicky details about myself. How everyone doesn’t actually like me-”

“I like you!” Candela burst out before slapping a hand over her mouth.

“I know,” Blanche smirked, “those are just things that go through my head,” they explained.

“Yeah sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Candela blushed.

“No it’s fine,” Blanche responded, “I’m kind of out of things to talk about anyways,” Candela knew that that was untrue, Blanche always had things to say even if they were very quiet, but she figured Blanche was tired of dwelling on such a heavy topic and she let it drop.

“I just want you to know,” Candela said turning and putting her hands on both sides of Blanche’s face, “That you’re so, so important, to both me and Spark and we love you so much and-”

“I know, ma chérie,” Blanche interrupted her ramble, “I know, and I love you both too,” Candela smiled at that and gave them a quick kiss.

“Hey I know,” Candela announced, “we should watch a movie! Do you want to?”

“Sure a movie sounds fine,” Blanche smiled.

“Ok great! It’s my turn to pick so get ready!” Candela pumped her fist in the air diluting the heavy atmosphere from earlier, “I’m going to call up Spark too, he’ll be upset if he misses a movie date,” Blanche nodded seriously.

“We really would hate to upset him,” They pulled their laptop back over to save the document that was still up as Candela rushed around setting up the DVD player and chatting excitedly to Spark, letting him know to come over.

If asked, Blanche really couldn’t tell you what the movie had been about, but they do remember Candela running her fingers through their hair and watching Spark’s face dive through emotions as he got a little too invested in the characters. Being around the two people they loved most in the world didn’t erase their demons or inner turmoil, but it definitely didn’t hurt and all in all Blanche would call that movie night a success.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if the way I wrote about these things doesn't make much sense, like I said I was just going off my raw emotions when I wrote this.
> 
> I'm not sure when or if I'll write more for this fandom/series. Don't get me wrong I love this ot3 I'm just a busy person. There is one or two more things I would enjoy writing about though so my return is possible.


End file.
